LIST-O-RAMA

Dateline: February 26, 2008, 6:54 EST

TEN ONE-LINERS FROM OUR NEXT COMIC BOOK

10. “A ripe young tomato like yourself! Why I bet you’re a genuine heartbreaker!”
9. “Are they filming a horror movie in the area?!”
8. “Really, Mother...what on Earth has gotten into you?”
7. “Her heart beat is sound and her vital sounds are completely normal!”
6. “I’m too set in my ways to have my peace of mind disturbed.”
5. “My mind is ready to be healthy, but my body just doesn’t seem willing to cooperate!”
4. “It might sound crazy or childish to someone like you...someone who’s seen the world!”
3. “Young, innocent, and given to sensual flights of fancy...”
2. “I have Mother’s dinner baking in the oven...”
1. “F’r crissakes! What a dumb cat!”

Dateline: February 20, 2007, 3:54 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 ROBERT RYAN FILMS **

5. BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK (1955)
4. CROSSFIRE (1947)
3. CLASH BY NIGHT (1952)
2. THE SET-UP (1949)
1. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)

Dateline: February 2, 2008, 12:02 EST 

KISS THE FOOT THAT KICKS YOU

What to expect from our next book:
Cops (crooked or clean) - nope.
Pimps – nope.
Ex-athletes – nope.
Ladies of the night – nope.
Rape – nope.
Physical torture – nope.
Car chases – nope.
Seedy roadside motels – nope.
Psycho sidekicks – nope.
Flesh eating zombies – nope.
Transgressive sex – perhaps.
Drug addicts – of course.

Dateline: February 1, 2008, 5:27 EST 

ODDS ON THE FOLLOWING PERSONS DABBLING IN COMICS WITHIN THE NEXT TEN YEARS:

Christopher Hitchens: 100-1
Ann Coulter: 40-1
Jose Canseco: 15-1
The Da Vinci Code guy: 8-1
Kid Rock: even money

Dateline: January 25, 2008, 3:52 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 GOSCINNY & UDERZO BOOKS **

5. ASTERIX AND CLEOPATRA (1965)
4. ASTERIX IN
BRITAIN (1966)
3. ASTERIX AND THE CAULDRON (1969)
2. ASTERIX AT THE OLYMPIC GAMES (1968)
1. ASTERIX AND THE ROMAN AGENT (1970)

Dateline: January 13, 2008, 3:54 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 DAVID GOODIS NOVELS **

5. NIGHTFALL (1947)
4. CASSIDY’S GIRL (1951)
3. DARK PASSAGE (1946) 
2. BLACK FRIDAY (1954)
1. SHOOT THE PIANO PLAYER (1956)

Dateline: December 13, 2007, 3:54 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 VAL LEWTON FILMS **

5. THE SEVENTH VICTIM (1943)
4. THE BODY SNATCHER (1945)
3. THE LEOPARD MAN (1943)
2. I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE (1943)
1. CAT PEOPLE (1942)

Dateline: December 6, 2007, 6:32 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 PETER LORRE FILMS **

5. THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH (1934)
4. MAD LOVE (1935)
3. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941)
2. M (1931)
1. CASABLANCA (1942)

Dateline: November 26, 2007, 11:09 EST 

SOME CHAPTER TITLES WE’RE CONSIDERING FOR A FUTURE BOOK

CHAPTER ONE – Miss C. ignores the advice of her Mother and goes running across the road.
CHAPTER TWO – On a deserted country highway, George S. loses his sense of direction and consults a road map.
CHAPTER THREE – Mother’s cat, Whiskers, crawls out of a second story window and makes a remarkable discovery.
CHAPTER FOUR – Her luck changing, Miss C. wins something far more precious than money.
CHAPTER FIVE – Mother makes more demands while Miss C. turns her back and rolls her eyes.

Dateline: November 12, 2007, 6:32 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 DON SIEGEL FILMS **

5. COOGAN’S BLUFF (1968)
4. THE KILLERS (1964)
3. INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956)
2. CHARLIE VARRICK (1973)
1. DIRTY HARRY (1971)

Dateline: November 7, 2007, 8:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 RAYMOND CHANDLER NOVELS **

5. THE LADY IN THE LAKE (1943)
4. THE LITTLE SISTER (1949)
3. THE LONG GOODBYE (1954)
2. THE BIG SLEEP (1939)
1. FAREWELL, MY LOVERLY (1940

Dateline: November 1, 2007, 6:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 INGRID BERGMAN FILMS **

5. SPELLBOUND (1945)
4. STROMBOLI (1950)
3. GASLIGHT (1944)
2. NOTORIOUS (1946)
1. CASABLANCA (1942)

Dateline: October 25, 1:19 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY BOOKS **

5.  NOTES FROM THE UNDERGROUND (1964)
4.  THE IDIOT (1869)
3   THE GAMBLER (1867)
2.  CRIME AND PUNISHMENT (1866)
1.  THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV (1880)

Dateline: October 22, 2007, 6:21 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 MARLENE DIETRICH FILMS **

5. STAGEFRIGHT (1950)
4. TOUCH OF EVIL (1958)
3. THE DEVIL IS A WOMAN (1935)
2. DISHONORED (1931)
1. THE BLUE ANGEL (1930)

Dateline: October 16, 2007, 11:41 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 CHARLTON HESTON FILMS **

5. THE OMEGA MAN (1971)
4. MAJOR DUNDEE (1965)
3. PLANET OF THE APES (1968)
2. SOYLENT GREEN (1973)
1. TOUCH OF EVIL (1958)

Dateline: October 7, 5:11 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 MORRIS & GOSCINNY BOOKS **

5.  THE TENDERFOOT (1968)
4.  GHOST TOWN (1965)
3   DALTON CITY (1969)
2.  WESTERN CIRCUS (1970)
1.  THE STAGECOACH (1968)

Dateline: October 3, 5:11 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 HERGE BOOKS **

5.  THE BLUE LOTUS (1936)
4.  THE CRAB WITH THE GOLDEN CLAWS (1942)
3   CIGARS OF THE PHAROH (1934)
2.  THE BLACK ISLAND (1938)
1.  THE CALCULUS AFFAIR (1956)

Dateline: September 20, 2007, 11:41 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 JACQUES TOURNEUR FILMS **

5. NIGHTFALL (1957)
4. I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE (1943)
3. THE LEOPARD MAN (1943)
2. CAT PEOPLE (1942)
1. OUT OF THE PAST (1947)

Dateline: September 14, 2007, 9:41 EST 

SHERLOCK HOLMES, HIS LIMITS (PER WATSON, FROM A STUDY IN SCARLET)

1. Knowledge of Literature. -- Nil.
2. Knowledge of Philosophy. -- Nil.
3. Knowledge of Astronomy. -- Nil.
4. Knowledge of Politics. -- Feeble.
5. Knowledge of Botany. -- Variable.  Well up in belladonna, opium, and poisons generally. Knows nothing of practical gardening.
                              6. Knowledge of Geology. -- Practical, but limited. Tells at a glance different soils from each other.  After walks has
shown me splashes upon his trousers, and told me by their color and consistence in what part of
London he had received them. 7. Knowledge of Chemistry. -- Profound.
8. Knowledge of Anatomy. -- Accurate, but unsystematic.
9. Knowledge of Sensational Literature. -- Immense.  He appears to know every detail of every horror perpetrated in the century.
                                10. Plays the violin well.
11. Is an expert singlestick player, boxer, and swordsman.
12. Has a good practical knowledge of British law.

Dateline: September 12, 2007, 7:07 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 DAVID LYNCH FILMS **

5.  WILD AT HEART (1990)
4. 
MULHOLLAND DRIVE (2001)
3.  THE ELEPHANT MAN (1980)
2.  ERASERHEAD (1977)
1.  BLUE VELVET (1986)

Dateline: September 4, 2007, 12:13 EST 

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#1)

THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE (1934) – James M. Cain. Fast, fierce, spare, stripped-down, with ancient themes of sadomasochism and destructive desire, The Postman Always Rings Twice is the story of America: shallow dreams, lust and loss, promise and deceit, violence and eroticism. It doesn’t get any better than this: "I sunk my teeth into her lips so deep I could feel the blood spurt into my mouth. It was running down her neck when I carried her upstairs."

Dateline: September 3, 2007, 7:53 EST 

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#2)

THE MALTESE FALCON (1930) – Dashiell Hammett. Simply put: the best American detective novel ever written. The tough talking, fedora-wearing private dick who speaks out of the side of his mouth and solves every case by guts and instinct alone has become such a cliché that it’s hard to imagine a time when the model was original and ground-breaking. It starts here: the prototype for the American private detective. The language is vintage (gats, gunsels, dames), the sense of time and place is faultless, and Hammett’s ability to create characters is vastly under-appreciated. He’s as good as Dickens at characterization (every personae here is brilliantly drawn) and Sam Spade is still the smoothest ‘tec ever invented. A landmark book.

Dateline: September 2, 2007, 4:52 EST 

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#3)

STRANGERS ON A TRAIN (1950) – Patricia Highsmith. In a sense, it’s somewhat unfair to categorize any of Highsmith’s work as straight ‘Crime Fiction’. It’s far too limiting a term. Perhaps because this form of writing has always belonged to “The Guys”, she didn’t feel the need to fit in. Her novels are completely original and unreservedly twisted. Replete with abnormal characters, psychological misfits, sociopathic mama’s boys, forlorn fairies hell-bent on destruction, Highsmith reads like some bizarre fusion of Dostoevsky and Virginia Woolf. In Strangers on a Train, she draws on the theme of the ‘evil twin’, the doppelganger, in which two strangers agree to murder one another’s enemy, thereby establishing the perfect alibi. It’s cruel, grim, weird, and 57 years removed, it’s still one hell of a read.

Dateline: September 1, 2007, 12:14 EST 

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#4)

FAREWELL, MY LOVELY (1940) – Raymond Chandler. No one should read Chandler for the plots, especially the plot of Farewell, My Lovely: the novel was created from ‘cannibalizing’ the text of three previously published short stories, Mandarin Jade (from Dime Detective, 1937), The Man Who Liked Dogs and Try The Girl (both from Black Mask, 1936 & 1937 respectively). Chandler should be read for the poetic prose, the salacious similes, the scorching one-liners, the slightly mad metaphoric understatement. His early novels walk the fine line between seriousness and burlesque. Marlowe dishes out sadism, slapstick and ingenious insights while being slugged, shot-at and shot-up. Forget the plot, Chandler is all about language, and Farewell, My Lovely contains two of the most magnificent sentences ever penned: "It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window." 

Dateline: August 31, 2007, 8:34 EST 

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#5)

THE GETAWAY (1959) – Jim Thompson. The best ‘heist’ novel ever written, The Getaway is Thompson’s masterpiece. Bleak, pessimistic, mean, cynical: every character is a shady, two-timing degenerate, every plan goes horribly wrong, every resolution is left unresolved. This is a 12 Gauge Allegory, a chainsaw confession, a broken whisky bottle across the face, written to every lying, swindling, two-bit money-man from L.A. to El Paso. Hollywood can’t improve the original text and nothing any critic says really matters. In the end, all a writer has are his books…and this one is Thompson’s gift to humanity.

Dateline: August 30, 2007, 2:51 EST 

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#6)

RED HARVEST (1929) – Dashiell Hammett. All modern American crime fiction writing (and all modern British crime fiction writing for that matter) comes directly from Hammett. The Continental Op (the main man in Red Harvest) is, perhaps, the most underrated and original detective of all time: short, fat, un-romantic, un-glamorous, incorruptible, loyal only to the agency…he doesn’t have a street address, he doesn’t have a family, a violin, a pet cat, a lady friend…hell, he doesn’t even have a name! This is pure pulp, and it is pure gold.

Dateline: August 29, 2007, 6:09 EST 

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#7)

WHITE JAZZ (1992) – James Ellroy. The three other books in Ellroy’s ‘L.A. Quartet’ (The Black Dahlia, The Big Nowhere and L.A. Confidential) are all great, but it is the fourth one, White Jazz, which crossed over the big fat red line that is genre fiction. Ellroy mined dead culture, stitched together linguistic trash (sleazy tabloid writing, film noir screenplays, mob history, Hollywood kitsch, psycho-slang), and a new language was born. There are crime novels and mystery novels and detective novels and suspense novels and who-dunits, how-dunits, what-where-why-dunnits…and then there is White Jazz.

Dateline: August 28, 2007, 11:51 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#8)

DOWN THERE (1956) – David Goodis. (Note: since the 1960 film release, the original title has changed to Shoot The Piano Player). Perhaps no other American novelist has ever written so perfectly about failure as David Goodis: his pages literally drip with despair. This is urban nihilism, obsessed poetry for the lost, displaced and damaged. Down There examines artistic suffering and ravaged talent, the perfect metaphor for all pulp writing: a one-time piano prodigy descends from Carnegie Hall to a steady gig tickling the ivories in a seamy Philly dive. “The music went on, the rhythm unbroken. It was a soft, easygoing rhythm, somewhat plaintive and dreamy, a stream of pleasant sound that seemed to be saying, Nothing matters.”

Dateline: August 27, 2007, 1:23 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#9)

THE BRIDE WORE BLACK (1940) – Cornell Woolrich. A failed Jazz-Age writer, Woolrich (or George Hopley, or William Irish) was one of the best “Ideas Men” to create suspense fiction. The Bride Wore Black marked the turning point in his career when he abandoned the lofty pursuit of Fitzgerald-esque literary fiction and embraced pulp fiction. Everything he touched in the 1940’s was astonishing: sweaty, silvery, cruel, agonizing. There is a certain shadowy elegance to Woolrich’s writing that is impossible to forget. For what its worth, Rear Window (a.k.a. It Had To Be Murder, 1942) is undoubtedly one of the finest American short stories ever penned, the equal of anything written by Edgar Allan Poe or Guy de Maupassant.

Dateline: August 26, 2007, 7:59 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#10)

COTTON COMES TO HARLEM (1965) – Chester Himes. Rollicking, picaresque, concerning a flim-flam man with a Back-To-Africa scam, Cotton Comes to Harlem is something more than a crime novel. Yes, it is a mystery (which is solved by the classic detective duo of Coffin Ed Johnson and Grave Digger Jones). Yes, it is entertaining, pre-figuring the blaxploitation film movement of the 1970’s. And yes, it is about race, done so subtly, in such an absurdist, social-comedic fashion, that the reader doesn’t no whether to laugh or cry. Himes is a literary giant. Regarding the book, he wrote: “The American black man has to make it or lose it in America; he has no choice. That's why I wrote Cotton Comes to Harlem. In Garvey's time, the 'Back to Africa' movement had an appeal and probably made some sense. But it doesn't make any sense now. It probably didn't make sense even then, but it's even less logical now, because the black people of America aren't Africans anymore, and the Africans don't want them."    

Dateline: August 25, 2007, 4:44 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#11)

DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1936) – James M. Cain. This crime novella is a flawless piece of fiction, overlooked, perhaps, because of the stellar movie adaptation. With ‘everyman’ / ‘anyman’ protagonists and realistic / vivid prose, Cain probably had the most influence on the pulp paperback writers of the 1950’s. Double Indemnity is basically a Greek Tragedy transposed to post-Depression Glendale, California, a fast-talking fire-bomb with vicious twists and intrigue: “A reputable agent don’t get mixed up in stuff like that, but she was walking around the room, and I saw something I hadn’t noticed before. Under those blue pajamas was a shape to set a man nuts, and how good I was going to sound when I started explaining the high ethics of the insurance business I didn’t exactly know.”

Dateline: August 24, 2007, 7:57 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#12)

THE WOMAN CHASER (1960) – Charles Willeford. A morbidly funny romp: smart, surprising, slightly existential,   Willeford’s work is the essence of pulp fiction. Although his output is almost ‘anti-pulp’, with a handful of classics released over the course of three decades, Willeford demonstrated an uncommon versatility: his ‘50’s hardboiled novels are every bit the equal of his 1980’s Hoke Moseley detective series. Hard to pick this one over Miami Blues or Cockfighter, but we’re giving the nod to The Woman Chaser: “The average reader has the tendency to identify himself with a lead character and to project himself into the story and actually live the story through the thoughts, actions and emotions of the lead character. Poor reader.”

Dateline: August 23, 2007, 12:43 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#13)

DOG EAT DOG (1995) – Edward Bunker. The opening line: “Two nights alone in a room with a pair of one-ounce jars of pharmaceutical cocaine made Mad Dog McCain live up to his nickname.” Maybe the last great crime novel of the 20th century: a hyperbolic, drug-fuelled, hellish piece of prose in the caper vein of Edward Anderson’s mini-classic Thieves Like Us. The only disappointment one will ever find with Bunker’s writing is that he didn’t write more. Prison took years off his life.

Dateline: August 22, 2007, 1:44 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#14)

NIGHTMARE ALLEY (1946) - William Lindsay Grisham. A one-book writer…and the book kills. The first-half of the novel took almost three years to write and stands up to anything penned by Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Plath. The tome depicts the duplicitous career of carny con-man Stanton Carlisle and introduced the word ‘geek’ into the American vernacular. Wicked dialogue throughout: “The world is mine! I’ve got ‘em across the barrel and I can shake them loose from whatever I want. The geek has his whisky. The rest of them drink something else: they drink promises. They drink hope. And I’ve got it to hand them.” 

Dateline: August 21, 2007, 9:03 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#15)

THE GRIFTERS (1963) – Jim Thompson. One of the last great Thompson novels…and one of the last great paperback originals. By the mid-60’s, the pulp paperback revolution was over and Thompson had begun the fast fade into obscurity. The Grifters examines fucked-up family relationships, failure, emptiness, crime (pretty much the themes of all his books) but it’s more carefully crafted, more consistent, better plotted than some of his ‘50’s floppies. And as Thompson once said about plotting: “There are 32 ways to write a story, and I have used every one, but there is only one plot - things are not what they seem.”

Dateline: August 20, 2007, 7:47 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#16)

THE BIG SLEEP (1939) – Raymond Chandler. What else can be said about a book that is the blue-print for 68 years worth of detective fiction that followed? Chandler wrote in 1950: “Throughout his play The Iceman Cometh, O'Neill used 'the big sleep' as a synonym for death. He used it, as far as one can judge from the context, as a matter of course, apparently in the belief that it was an accepted underworld expression. If so, I'd like to see whence it comes, because I invented the expression. It is quite possible that I reinvented it, but I never saw it in print before I used it, and until I get the evidence I shall continue to believe that O'Neill took it from me, directly or indirectly, and thought I was using a standard term.”  

Dateline: August 19, 2007, 1:43 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#17)

IN A LONELY PLACE (1947) – Dorothy B. Hughes. An exceptionally daring novel concerning Dix Steele, a sociopathic, misogynistic, would-be crime fiction writer in L.A.; the narrative device of pyschopath’s-point-of-view was highly influentional on burgeoning 1950’s crime fiction (see: Robert Bloch’s Psycho; Thompson’s The Killer Inside Me; Highsmith’s The Talented Mr. Ripley). Hughes’s tale reads like a feminist interpretation of Crime and Punishment as it  examines machismo gone mad in post-WWII America: ugly, frightening, traumatic. Below the surface, in sunny California, the “Greatest Generation” had a very dark side. 

Dateline: August 18, 2007, 3:03 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#18)

SACTUARY (1931) – William Faulkner. While it could be argued that Sanctuary isn’t as ‘pure’ a crime novel as Intruder in the Dust or Knight’s Gambit, this killer-thriller is one of Faulkner finest yarns. In a sense, it should be considered one of the first American pulp novels. Down and dirty, raw and shocking, Faulkner wrote about it in 1932: “To me it is a cheap idea, it was deliberately conceived to make money…I took a little time out, and speculated what a person in Mississippi would believe to be current trends, chose what I thought would be the right answer and invented the most horrific tale I could imagine and wrote it in about three weeks.”

Dateline: August 17, 2007, 11:21 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#19)

THE BIG CLOCK (1946) – Kenneth Fearing. Essentially a one-book writer, Fearing delivered an experimental crime masterpiece told from multiple points of view, with cold, omnipresent ‘time’ lurking like a villain in the background. Well-plotted, modern, witty, with various sub-plots, (i.e. the relationship of “high” art to mass culture; obscurity vs. notoriety), this twisted tale reads like a vintage Hitchcock film. And it would make an excellent graphic novel.

Dateline: August 16, 2007, 5:58 EST

TWENTY BEST AMERICAN CRIME NOVELS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (#20)

THE WAY SOME PEOPLE DIE (1951) – Ross Macdonald. All eighteen of Macdonald’s Lew Archer books are excellent and it’s difficult to pick out one above all the rest. This one is a hard-boiled gem. Macdonald could flat-out write a mystery: he was a better plotter than Chandler, his psychological insights match those of Highsmith, and Archer warrants placement in the pantheon of great American detectives.

Dateline: August 13, 6:11 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: 5 SOMEWHAT OBSCURE 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN CLASSICS, PENNED BY WOMEN **

5.  RIDE THE PINK HORSE (1946) – Dorothy Hughes
4.  THROUGH A GLASS, DARKLY (1950) – Helen McCloy
3   LAURA (1943) – Vera Caspary
2.  A SUSPENSION OF MERCY (1965) – Patricia Highsmith
1.  IN A LONELY PLACE (1947) - Dorothy Hughes

Dateline: August 10, 7:04 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 STANLEY KUBRICK FILMS **

5.  DR. STRANGELOVE (1964)
4.  THE SHINING (1980)
3   2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968)
2.  A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971)
1.  PATHS OF GLORY (1957)

Dateline: August 3, 2007, 4:25 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS BOOKS **

5.  THE SOFT MACHINE (1961)
4.  QUEER (1953)
3   THE PLACE OF DEAD ROADS (1983)
2.  JUNKIE (1953)
1.  NAKED LUNCH (1959)

Dateline: July 23, 2007, 7:10 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 JOSEPH COTTEN FILMS **

5.  GASLIGHT (1944)
4.  THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS (1943)
3   SHADOW OF A DOUBT (1943)
2.  CITIZEN KANE (1941)
1.  THE THIRD MAN (1949)

Dateline: July 17, 2007, 5:12 EST

FIVE LAMEST MOVIES OF THE 1980’S (#1)

THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985)—--Fuck, remember the brat pack? Remember Judd and Molly and that other chick and that dopey kid from Vacation? They were quite the shit back in the day…and this is their movie. Behold Reagan America. This is sad-eyed rich kids, and suburban angst, and down-home homogeneity, and hilariously harmless high-school hi-jinx…all choreographed to a totally bitchin’ sound track. The only thing missing from this fluff-fest is a teenage Oliver North with a bald eagle tattooed to his chest and a diamond crucifix hanging from his ear. And just think: somewhere, at some point, this repellent feature made some twelve-year-old daughter misty.

Dateline: July 16, 2007, 7:54 EST

FIVE LAMEST MOVIES OF THE 1980’S (#2)

ROADHOUSE (1989)—--This hideously stinking piece of fromage is a Hair-Porn masterpiece. Ben Gazzara’s coif is okay, Kelly Lynch’s locks are gorgeous, Sam Elliot’s hairdo almost saves the flick and Patrick Swayze…huh?? Was Harry Hamlin’s hair not available? The synopsis: there is some serious ass-kicking going down at the “Double Deuce”, and a smirking Pat Swarthy rides a silver sports car into the Big T like some new-wave angel in designer slacks to rescue a town from madness. Fucking brilliant.

Dateline: July 15, 2007, 6:03 EST

FIVE LAMEST MOVIES OF THE 1980’S (#3)

TOP GUN (1986)—--Any movie that boasts Randy “Duke” Cunningham as a source of inspiration has to be pure Satanic genius. This is Sean Hannity’s version good ol’ fashioned entertainment: homoeroticism, boozing, leather jackets, jet fighters, comely air force pussy. Reagan America? Fuck, this patriotic pom-pom pap even features a dog fight with Red Commie MiG’s getting blown from the air. Nothing says good triumphing over evil like a shit-eating Tom Cruise smile. Folks, its morning in America and Kenny Loggins is providing the score and Old Glory is flapping proudly just south of a wide blue sky. Maybe it could have been worse: maybe it could have been based on Dubya’s National Guard gig.

Dateline: July 14, 2007, 3:51 EST

FIVE LAMEST MOVIES OF THE 1980’S (#4)

ORDINARY PEOPLE (1980)—--This is the type of smarmy, saccharine piece of shit that the Academy just fucking loves…a celluloid Hallmark card that actually gets worse with age. It was unwatchable 27 years ago. God only knows how many brave souls ended up killing themselves trying to make it through since. A truly ordinary movie about psychiatry? Wow, how daring, how radical, how cutting edge. But that is not the real crime. The real crime is that this monotonous mess beat out Raging Bull for Best Picture. Foul!

Dateline: July 13, 2007, 11:45 EST

FIVE LAMEST MOVIES OF THE 1980’S (#5)

TANGO AND CASH (1989)—--Sometime back in the early ‘90’s, a bad batch of heroin hit the streets of NYC. Hundreds of addled and unsuspecting junkies shot up and immediately bit the dust. The fatal skag was called Tango & Cash. And fatality would have been an appropriate sentence for those people responsible in unleashing this crime upon the senses. Except for Edward Bunker (one of the best writers of the 20th century) who had a small part in the flick. He should have been spared…

Dateline: July 12, 2007, 4:06 EST

FIVE LAMEST MOVIES OF THE 1980’S (honorary mention)

COCKTAIL (1988)---Hi, my name is Brian Flanagan and I just got out of the army and now I work a T.G.I. Fridays on the Upper East Side. But I have big dreams of becoming the most righteous bartender at the most righteous NYC night club and nothing will stand in my way. At some point, I bed down a blonde hottie who I meet on vacation in the Caribbean. She’s an aspiring artist (who actually grew up on Park Avenue, *surprise!*), but I don’t know that at the time. And then a lot of other shit happens to me but I eventually end up as that righteous bartender at my very own bar, “Cocktails and Dreams”. When I pour, I reign. They thought I was good, they were wrong…I was the best.

Dateline: July 7, 2007, 7:07 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 SERGIO LEONE FILMS **

5.  FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE (1965)

4.  A FISTFUL OF DYNAMITE (1971)

3.  ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST (1968)

2.  THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY (1966)

1.  A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS (1964)

Dateline: June 29, 2007, 9:07 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 WILLIAM HOLDEN FILMS **

5. STALAG 17 (1953)

4. BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER KWAI (1957)

3. NETWORK (1976)

2. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)

1. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950)

Dateline: June 19, 2007, 4:07 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 GRAHAM GREENE BOOKS **

5. THE QUIET AMERICAN (1955)

4. THE THIRD MAN (1948)  

3. THE CONFIDENTIAL AGENT (1939)

2. A GUN FOR SALE (1936)

1. THE MINISTRY OF FEAR (1943)

Dateline: June 15, 2007, 9:07 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 HARVEY KEITEL FILMS **

5. FINGERS (1978)

4. ALICE DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE (1974)

3. BAD LIEUTENANT (1992)

2. BLUE COLLAR (1978)

1. MEAN STREETS (1973)

Dateline: June 12, 2007, 10:08 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: 5 MORE SOMEWHAT OBSCURE 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN CLASSICS **

5. HALO IN BLOOD (1946) – Howard Browne

4. NIGHT OF THE HUNTER (1953) – Davis Grubb

3. THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON’T THEY? (1935) – Horace McCoy

2. PSYCHO (1959) – Robert Bloch

1. THE BIG CLOCK (1946) – Kenneth Fearing

Dateline: June 9, 2007, 10:03 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 ANDREI TARKOVSKY FILMS **

5. MY NAME IS IVAN (1962)

4. SOLARIS (1972)

3. THE SACRIFICE (1986)

2. STALKER (1979)

1. ANDREI RUBLEV (1966)

Dateline: June 2, 2007, 11:21 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 WALTER BRENNAN FILMS **

5. TO HAVE AND TO HAVE NOT (1944) - Eddie

4. MY DARLING CLEMENTINE (1946) – Clanton

3. BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK (1955) – Doc Velie

2. RIO BRAVO (1959) - Stumpy

1. RED RIVER (1948 – Groot Nadine

Dateline: May 27, 2007, 9:01 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 STANSISLAW LEM BOOKS **

5. TALES OF PIRX THE PILOT (1973)

4. THE CYBERIAD (1967)

3. EDEN (1959)

2. SOLARIS (1961)  

1. RETURN FROM THE STARS (1961)

Dateline: May 19, 2007, 10:03 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: 5 SOMEWHAT OBSCURE 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN CLASSICS **

5. I WAKE UP SCREAMING (1941) – Steve Fisher

4. BUILD MY GALLOWS HIGH (1946) – Geoffrey Homes

3. NIGHTMARE ALLEY (1946) – William Lindsay Greshem 

2. BLUE MURDER (1938) – Robert Leslie Bellem

1. FAST ONE (1933) – Paul Cain

Dateline: May 13, 2007, 11:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 GLORIA GRAHAME FILMS **

5. THE BAD AND THE BEAUTIFUL (1952) – V. Minelli

4. CROSSFIRE (1947) – Edward Dmytryk

3. IN A LONELY PLACE (1950) – Nicholas Ray

2. THE BIG HEAT (1953) – Fritz Lang

1. HUMAN DESIRE (1954 – Fritz Lang

Dateline: May 7, 2007, 10:04 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 PHILIP K. DICK BOOKS **

5. NOW WAIT FOR LAST YEAR (1966)

4. UBIK (1969)

3. DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP? (1968)

2. THE THREE STIGMATA OF PALMER ELDRITCH (1965)

1. THE MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE (1963)

Dateline: April 26, 2007, 11:52 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 BARBARA STANWYCK FILMS **

5. CLASH BY NIGHT (1952) - Fritz Lang

4. THE FILE ON THELMA JORDAN (1950) – Robert Siodmak

3. THE STRANGE LOVE OF MARTHA IVERS (1946) – Lewis Milestone

2. THE LADY EVE (1941) - Preston Sturges

1. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944) - Billy Wilder

Dateline: April 20, 2007, 6:52 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 RICHARD WIDMARK FILMS **

5. THE STREET WITH NO NAME (1948)

4. CHEYENNE AUTUMN (1964) 

3. KISS OF DEATH (1947)

2. PICK-UP ON SOUTH STREET (1953)

1. NIGHT AND THE CITY (1950)

Dateline: April 14, 2007, 4:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 DONALD WESTLAKE BOOKS **

5. 361 (1962)

4. THE MERCENARIES (1960)

3. THE HOT ROCK (1970)

2. PITY HIM AFTERWARDS (1964)

1. THE HUNTER (1962)

Dateline: April 10, 2007, 6:09 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 SAM PECKINPAH FILMS **

5. RIDE THE HIGH COUNTRY (1962) 

4. PAT GARRETT AND BILLY THE KID (1973)

3. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)     

2. BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA (1974)     

1. THE GETAWAY (1972)

Dateline: April 8, 2007, 4:54 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 PATRICIA HIGHSMITH BOOKS **

5. THE BLUNDERER (1954)

4. THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY (1955)     

3. A SUSPENSION OF MERCY (1965)

2. STRANGERS ON A TRAIN (1950)

1. THE TREMOR OF FORGERY (1969)

Dateline: March 31, 2007, 6:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 ROBERT MITCHUM FILMS **

5. FAREWELL, MY LOVELY (1975) 

4. CROSSFIRE (1947) 

3. THE NIGHT OF THE HUNTER (1955)

2. CAPE FEAR (1962)

1. OUT OF THE PAST (1947)

Dateline: March 21, 2007, 7:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 ROSS MACDONALD BOOKS **

5. BLACK MONEY (1966)        

4. THE FAR SIDE OF THE DOLLAR (1965)

3. THE ZEBRA-STRIPED HEARSE (1962)   

2. THE CHILL (1964)

1. THE DROWNING POOL (1950)

Dateline: March 15, 2007, 6:58 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 STERLING HAYDEN FILMS **

5. THE LONG GOODBYE (1973) – Robert Altman 

4. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964) – Stanley Kubrick 

3. THE GODFATHER (1972) – Francis Coppola

2. THE ASPHALT JUNGLE (1950) – John Huston

1. THE KILLING (1956) – Stanley Kubrick

Dateline: March 9, 2007, 7:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 JAMES M. CAIN BOOKS **

5. LOVE’S LOVELY CONTERFEIT (1942)       

4. SERENADE (1937)     

3. MILDRED PIERCE (1941)   

2. THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE (1934) 

1. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1936)

Dateline: February 20, 2007, 4:53 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 MARTIN SCORSESE FILMS **

5. CASINO (1995) 

4. TAXI DRIVER (1976)    

3. MEAN STREETS (1973)   

2. GOODFELLAS (1990)   

1. RAGING BULL (1980)

Dateline: February 12, 2007, 4:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 OLIVER STONE FILMS **

5. THE HAND (1981) – Director/Writer

4. SALVADOR (1986) – Director/Writer   

3. MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (1978) – Screenwriter   

2. SCARFACE (1983) – Screenwriter   

1. WALL STREET (1987) – Director/Writer

Dateline: February 3, 2007, 4:56 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 WARREN OATES FILMS **

5. DILLINGER (1973) – John Milius

4. THE BORDER (1982) – Tony Richardson   

3. THE WILD BUNCH (1969) – Sam Peckinpah   

2. BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA (1974) – Sam Peckinpah   

1. COCKFIGHTER (1974) – Monte Hellman

Dateline: January 28, 2007, 6:56 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 EDWARD G. ROBINSON FILMS **

5. LITTLE CAESAR (1931) – Mervyn LeRoy

4. KEY LARGO (1948) – John Huston 

3. SCARLET STREET (1945) – Fritz Lang

2. THE STRANGER (1946) – Orson Welles

1. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944) – Billy Wild

Dateline: January 20, 2007, 3:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 W.R. BURNETT BOOKS ** 

5. BEAST OF THE CITY (1932)

4. NOBODY LIVES FOREVER (1944) 

3. HIGH SIERRA (1940)

2. LITTLE CAESAR (1929)

1. ASPHALT JUNGLE (1950)

Dateline: January 15, 2007, 4:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 CHARLES WILLEFORD BOOKS **

5. THE SHARK-INFESTED CUSTARD (1993)

4. MIAMI BLUES (1984)

3. COCKFIGHTER (1962)

2. PICK-UP (1955)

1. THE WOMAN CHASER (1960)

Dateline: December 7, 2006, 3:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP 5 FRITZ LANG MOVIES **

5. SPIES (1928)

4. SCARLET STREET (1945)

3. THE BIG HEAT (1953)

2. M (1931)

1. HUMAN DESIRE (1954)

Dateline: November 8, 2006, 4:51 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 3 EDWARD BUNKER BOOKS **

3. ANIMAL FACTORY (1977)

2. DOG EAT DOG (1995)

1. NO BEAST SO FIERCE (1973)

Dateline: October 21, 2006, 4:52 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP 5 CORNELL WOOLRICH BOOKS **

5. PHANTOM LADY (1942)

4. REAR WINDOW (1944)

3. I MARRIED A DEAD MAN (1948)

2. WALTZ INTO DARKNESS (1947)

1. THE BRIDE WORE BLACK (1940)

Dateline: September 21, 2006, 4:44 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP FIVE CHESTER HIMES BOOKS **

5. THE CRAZY KILL (1959)

4. THE BIG GOLD DREAM (1960)

3. BLIND MAN WITH A PISTOL (1969)

2. THE HEAT’S ON (1966)

1. COTTON COMES TO HARLEM (1965)

Dateline: September 1, 2006, 6:59 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP FIVE JOHN HUSTON FILMS **

5. THE ASPHALT JUNGLE -- director

4. THE NIGHT OF THE IGUANA –- director

3. THE TREASURE OF SIERRA MADRE -- director

2. CHINATOWN -- actor

1. THE MALTESE FALCON –- director

Dateline: August 13, 2006, 2:56 EST

** BREAKING NEWS: ESSENTIAL READING ** TOP TEN CRIME NOVELS OF 1800’S **

10. CRIME AND PUNISHMENT / F. Dostoevsky (1866)

9. ASPERN PAPERS / H. James (1888)

8. PUDD’NHEAD WILSON / M. Twain (1894)

7. OUR MUTUAL FRIEND / C. Dickens (1865)

6. A STUDY IN SCARLET / A.C. Doyle (1888)

5. MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE / E.A. Poe (1841)

4. A MURKY BUSINESS / H. Balzac (1841)

3. THE MOONSTONE / W. Collins (1868)

2. LA BETE HUMAINE / E. Zola (1890)

1. THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV / F. Dostoevsky (1880)

Dateline: July 12, 2006, 6:58 EST

** ESSENTIAL READING: TOP FIVE JIM THOMPSON BOOKS **

5. AFTER DARK, MY SWEET – Kevin “Kid” Collins

4. THE KILLER INSIDE ME – Lou Ford

3. A HELL OF A WOMAN - Frank "Dolly" Dillon

2. THE GRIFTERS – Roy Dillon

1. THE GETAWAY – Carter “Doc” McCoy

Dateline: June 16, 2006, 6:58 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP FIVE ORSON WELLES FILMS **

5. F IS FOR FAKE -- auteur

4. OTHELLO –- auteur

3. THE THIRD MAN –- collaboration

2. CITIZAN KANE –- auteur

1. TOUCH OF EVIL –- auteur

Dateline: May 24, 2006, 6:59 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING: TOP FIVE ALFRED HITCHCOCK FILMS **

5. PYSCHO -- fear of motels

4. VERTIGO –- fear of heights

3. STRANGERS ON A TRAIN –- fear of tennis

2. NOTORIOUS –- fear of Nazis

1. REAR WINDOW –- fear of wheelchairs

Dateline: April 6, 2006, 3:56 EST

** ESSENTIAL VIEWING ** FIVE GREATEST FIGHT FILMS **

5. ROCKY –- Philly in the 70’s was no laughing matter.

4. THE SET UP –- Robert Ryan handles the fight scenes…in real time.

3. BODY AND SOUL –- awesome anti-capitalism sub-plot.

2. NIGHT AND THE CITY -- Jules Dassin was born in Middletown, CT., & was later persecuted…Widmark is simply amazing…

1. RAGING BULL –- we remember seeing this film in a Times Square theater in 1980…DeNiro trained at Gleasons…